Thursday, June 4, 2009

Just jump on in...

I know for a fact now that moving on my own is the absolute best thing for me. It's going to be rough but there are always ways back 'home.' If I'm going to commit to taking good care of the ones I love I must be dependent solely upon myself first to truly conquer my destiny. I know that going back to California and making a home for myself will give me wings to fly and be my productive, giving self.

Even while handing out free root beer floats, flirting with some silly stoned boys, smiling at some hunky men, I felt completely satisfied for fulfilling our customer's desires. I was rewarded in more ways than one. Plus I actually had fun with my coworkers and we did a fantastic job! I think only 7 or 8 were dropped. The rest of the 3000 made it to a happy guest!

It was so simple and yet everyday should be like that. So blessed and grateful for everything I have, have had and will have. I've been feeling much better about my self these days because of kind acts. I guess I just told myself I wasn't being nice to the RIGHT people. Now that I've made a valiant effort at work and elsewhere, things have definitely improved. I've let people take advantage of my gullibility and sweetness but I do believe that it's always better to be a kind and thoughtful person rather than not. You gotta set the tone. You are your environment.

My Aunt Mary Katheleen has returned to Kansas City with one of her 5 children, Milena. I love that sweet, spoiled cousin of mine. She's going to be four in December. I cannot believe the time has flow and I've seen her 4 times since she was born! If all goes well, Milena will be mine. Someday when no one else has the right or the gall to pull off raising this innocent child it will be me who will gladly step up to the plate and willingly sacrifice whatever need be to attend to her every need. I will financially, emotionally and physically support her until the time comes for her to be a free woman and spread her wings. I want her mother to always always be apart of her life because I truly adore that woman for all of the strength and bravery she has. I have never ever talked shittle about Kat on any of my blogs. Sometimes she infuriates me and we've shared words but it always comes down to the fact that we deeply care for the other. She's one of my only 3 few family members I can talk to now, the rest are either in jail or elderly.

I can only do so much in that area too. I've made so much effort in the past 8 or 9 years to be Donette. And oh my lordy that poor chick is so pitiful! Jolee can have some rough times, but Donnie, she just is as naive as a cow. I'm done with being a child. It's time to be mature, act like a good person and respect the people I do love and care about.

It's nearly time for bed now as it's after 2:45 am and I've been awake since about 7:30 am! I'm glad to have gotten this all out and I hope that when it is reread by myself tomorrow I will be proud of this stella' young lady I'm turning out to be.

Love, Light and Peace,