Saturday, October 16, 2010

30DC - Day 13 - PS...

How appropriate that this day should ask of me to write a letter to someone about something I couldn't tell them. It's implied that I wouldn't be able to do this face to face. This is kind of a tough task because I simply do not have many people I would hide things from. I would say the hardest part is finding a person I want to tell this thing to.

At this point, I'll make it the young man in my life whom I'm currently seeing. I won't name names for privacy's sake and I doubt he will read this so I'm going to be open and honest. If he does however read it, then let me just say I have no regrets.

Dear Man,
I know you've been working hard and taking care of those around you with ease and maybe some frustration. I do miss you something awful but I know that when the time is right we shall return to one another again and embrace fully. I've never met anyone quite like you, and that you need be rest assured is a good thing. One person in my life as of this moment would say I have a bad judge of character, and I fully disagree. Every friend, family member and lover from the past has come and some have gone for good purpose. You after even a short time with me, have not yet run away. I try not to scare you off but maybe prepare you for the storm that is sure to come. I've tried so hard not to get ahead of myself but I must be honest and tell you that I'm very much indeed feeling closer to you every time we meet. I don't let anyone drive my vehicle, but you do it so well. I never let anyone smoke in my vehicle either, and you respect that. As a matter of fact, I think you've only smoked around me once. I applaud you for your determination. I've not felt actually safe in another man's presence since my father died, and you are the first to break that curse. I sense within you a gentleness and a nonchalant coolness. You seem to understand even if you don't really grasp it yet. And believe me, you need to keep that mystery. I don't know if anyone can handle the drama that surrounds my environment at this point in time. But I have faith in you. And only time will tell if we are meant to spend a great deal of our time together, but if so, I'm glad it is you.

Love, light and peace,

PS: Sunday Ticket!

Gerard Butler w/ MSU Spartans (Photos)

I found these photos of Gerard visiting the MSU Spartans just yesterday (Friday) after he talked to Jared Leto and was spotted looking for another NYC apartment. If you are thinking what I am thinking, Doesn't he already have a humongous loft there already?, it's still unclear what happened to it or if he just loves the city THAT much.

Anyways, I could care less what he was doing in the city, but I thought him visiting the guys from Michigan State University while they were indeed watching 300. They were introduced to him and then they took several photos together. Gerard also attended the MSU basketball game but left before the game even started.

He seems to love visiting sports teams during his time off doesn't he? Anyone remember when he was sitting court side with one time costar Adrien Brody and Jeff Katzenburg chomping on McDonald's? Anyways, that's his view of living the dream, so I will not sit here and squash it for him. That's what America is here for right, foreigners to come, take the work and act as if they are Americans?

I think the honeymoon is over, so to speak. But no worries. I still think he's a great actor. And he's really gorgeous, especially with all that new wavy hair. (It looks like "The Cherry Orchard" cut once again, just gelled.)

Here's the normal posed photo
msu,spartans,gerard butler

Here's the "Ah-hoo" picture... (He asked them what was their profession. Cute.)
msu,spartans,gerard butler

(That poor cutie on the far left with the neck brace... aww!)

And last but not least Gerard with the coach Tom Izzo.
msu,spartans,gerard butler,coach

These were all taken from MSUSpartans' 'twitpic' page. I own no rights to them. I figured many people would like to see them!

I hope you all have a wonderful weekend, I'm hoping mine is relaxing as opposed to freaking out over bills. Blessed be, my lovlies!

Love, Light & Peace,

30DC - Day 12 - Secrets & Rooms

On this day I'm supposed to share with you my bedroom. I have to point out that there is absolutely no direction or organization to the decorating in my room. It has no style, which can be attributed my lack of interest. I love that I finally have my own room, which I lovingly refer to as "The Princess' Dungeon." Or should I call it a lair?

It does half a half bathroom attached which takes most grooming out of the main bathroom which ONLY I clean once a week, and only use to shower in. I want to point that out, because it should be duly noted that I am the only person who cleans this house. Albeit I hardly vacuum which is pure laziness, but no one else is ever here so I just gave up on that. I feel awful now, so after a long hard day at work today and one hour of nap time, I will be vacuuming when I get here!

This is my room.

Room 2

Room 1

My beloved shoes which are filthy from too much wear on the inside, and my super cheaply made bedspread. I have a twin mattress set and one bedspread. But I have 3 sets of sheets, 2 of which are only 200 thread count and bug the crap out of me.

And as for my "secret" of the day, I'd prefer to sleep naked, but alas, these damn sheets don't allow for such freedom. And Fall is here, so it's freezing again. It will take a miracle to get through this winter as I will be prohibited from working at my paid job, and I hate living without the sun. I get very depressed during the winter. Which is PRECISELY why sunny SoCal is my home for GOOD. Screw Missouri and it's conservatives!

I'm so kidding, Missouri has plenty of pros to living here. It is a cheaper than in SoCal, but if you have 3 jobs, 2 of which pay next to nothing and 2 that literally pays nothing, it's still better to live in San Diego. Where people love me and I can stay tan all year round darn it!

Well, here's to getting it done sooner than expected and way on time.

Love, Light & Peace,
Jolee Summerville

Friday, October 15, 2010

30DC - Day 11 - Dislike

On this day I am challenged to show you all a photo of something I dislike. I have to be very careful because I do not want to get any hate mail! We all have our opinions and are free in my country to express them, rightfully so. There are many things I dislike but to pinpoint one really is a tough task.

Phantom crying Pictures, Images and Photos
I'm going to yell what I tell Jackson when he fake cries or basically whines, "You faker!"

There is nothing more than sad than loneliness. I'm proud to use one of the greatest examples of loneliness and obsession from The Phantom as in of the opera. I have seen several portrayals by different actors and I'm going to say it. Gerard Butler is my favorite performer who got the sadness down. Most notably in the All I Ask Of You (Reprise) scene in which he cries over losing Christine to Raoul. He knew she kissed him to save Raoul. Thus he let her go.

Phantom crying Pictures, Images and Photos

He doesn't cry too well in my opinion until the end of the film, but the scene was still moving to me. Especially when he sings "You will curse the day you did not do all that the Phantom asked of YOU!" Then he takes a few months of to write "Don Juan Triumphant" which should have been explored more in the film I believe. After this is when we see him start to lose his marbles. He believes that killing and kidnapping are the only solutions to his pain.

A true psychopath obviously. I feel though that as a budding psych buff I give out more empathy than I should because of his past. This is remarkably told in Gaston Leroux's story "Le Fantome De I'Opera." As well as in Susan Kay's novel "Phantom." Of course every time I reread these texts I see Gerard playing the character!

But that's what I dislike is loneliness. I do identify with this character mainly because I've lived a semi-sheltered life and as a result I've been projected as this naive, vulnerable person. I strive every day to better and educate myself as much as possible. And I believe if you're paying attention you learn at least one new thing every day!

I found this and I cannot find an accompanying interview in which Gerard says the quote, but I do remember him stating on the DVD he cried while reading the script. In his final scene in the movie, he cried as he sings a bit of "Masquerade" with his cute musical monkey. It is believed Erik made toys and made this music box modeling after his time spent in Persia.

phantom cry,phantom cry,gerard butler,gerard quote,phantom,phantom of the opera,cry,phantom crying

So I hope you enjoyed what I dislike the most. I also you Gerard Butler phans will appreciate the effort I put into this blog, since the last 2 I mentioned him were in vain. He's just so marvelous isn't he?

Love, Light & Peace,
Jolee Summerville

Thursday, October 14, 2010

30DC - Day 10 - Past Relationship

This day will allow me to tell you about a past relationship. Oddly enough there are several stories but only one comes to mind worth telling. I will tell you about my old friend Terri. I met her one fall day in Ramona, a small town in the mountains of San Diego, California. She was this kinda crazy/mad personality with a lot of strength and perseverance.

I do not have any current photos of her so that is why you will not find one. She was a good friend and she basically did get me a job for a few months. She taught me how to organize and not get overwhelmed by all of the stuff. We had plenty a good time together. After maybe less than a year of knowing the woman she snapped and decided the drama was too much.

I have not heard from her in over 3 years and I deem that appropriate. There are many times I wish she had stuck around, but in all the world I think it's best we do not continue to converse. There was not much she could gain from me being her friend anyways since I didn't especially condone many of her husband's alleged behaviors.

I do remember one day I was feeling so achy from T.O.M visiting me and I don't remember what had to be done that day that was so urgent. But she woke me from a nap on this one day and the kids were not there so I took advantage of that. I wanted a little rest because I was in pain. She woke me up very loudly and said to me that I'd been lazy enough already that day, that I needed to get up and clean that house.

I was well aware of the arrangement I'd had with the renter of the home and our living agreements. For that, I was grateful. It was a fair trade and I learned many, many things from that time. I do look back and see that I could have worked harder, but that is just one of the lessons I learned.

At the end of that day Terri had finally left and I was emotionally upset and distraught. She had kept yelling at me like a tyrant. I indeed felt like Cinderella once more. I went into the downstairs restroom to clean it and I locked the door, trying to catch a break. At that point Julie's son, who was there at the moment, came in and asked me if I was all right and then hugged me. After that naturally, he had begun to hate me, which he tells me often. But I digress, it was a day I'll probably never forget.

I hope she reminisces on that day and thinks of how she would have treated me differently. I for one hold my anger in and take it out on people who I should love, but do not. I am rude to these people who insist on using me for assistance without asking for my opinion on it. There are only 2 who receive the brunt of my anger because I am always angry with those specific 2. No one else on Earth gets that treatment from me and they never will.

I pray that Terri finds peace of mind and perhaps one day we will meet again for tea and a good toke. I wish her all of the best in her business endeavors as I know she would do well, if she just maybe weren't so loud!

As always, and I'll continue to say it, I hope you all share your adventures soon! Blessed be my lovies.

Love, Light & Peace,
Jolee Summerville

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

30DC - Day 9 - Pride

I can honestly say I have not too many things to be proud of, or rather not too many people. I am blessed with an abundance of 'things' compared to a certain group of millions of refugees. For instance, at the moment I am craving Oreos, but since we are lacking in the cookie department, I opted for early Halloween Milk Duds and salt & vinegar Lays. That may sound like a pregnant woman's idea of a good time, but it's just me being a typical girl being visited by T.O.M.

I am proud of myself for not getting pregnant first of all. Among several others things as well, but that's my main goal. I would like to be financially settled when I start a family. If it happens, or when it happens I'll say, it will be a wonderful miracle. I have not been blessed enough to visit a proper lady's doctor (aka: OB-GYN) as of yet.

I am certainly not proud of my family I'm sad to report. Only a handful of them have taken a step up and realized that responsibility is a good value to incorporate into our daily lives. I'm actually more proud of people I do not necessarily know, or people I've not known for so long.

Like my Mama J, who lives where I used to reside in Sand Diego. She's an amazing performer with talents that extend past acting and singing. The woman can make an enormous amount of giant bubbles, is an expert in hula hooping and not to mention, she is an outstanding care taker of everyone she loves. I'm honored to have lived by her side. I pray one day very soon we embrace again.

balboa park,julie clemmons,jolee summerville

She is the first person I am immensely proud of and unfortunately is not blood related to me. Well, unfortunate for me, but very lucky for her and her families. The second person I am very happy with is George Clooney. Yes, you read that right. Ever since I was very young, my father figure, Ernest and I would watch E.R., Dr. Quinn and Cops together. Of course, George has only to do with E.R. oh and Roseanne which we also watched after the news at 9 o' clock.

I must point out that while I am a fan of his acting work, I am ever appreciate of his very demonstrative and hardworking efforts he has shown humanity. He has one of the deepest hearts I've known in an actor. And I only know it from afar, for now. I pray one day that he and I will work side by side, most hopefully while bringing awareness and justice to war ravaged and poverty stricken areas of the world.

sudan,barack,barack obama,george,george clooney,clooney

There are plenty of people that I admire, but pride comes only so often with me. I literally beam and smile when I mention either of these two lovely civilians. I have learned so much from them and I hope to learn even more with their smart guidance. I've never been so happy or proud to know such wonderful people with loving hearts and brilliant ideas.

I hope some of you will start challenging yourself to see what's really amazing in your life. Every day I am bewildered by what I am showing and reminding myself about. It truly is a blessing to sit here, type and shove into my mouth candy and chips, which I don't do so often. If it weren't 11 pm and I didn't have to get up before the ass crack of dawn, I'd write more, and be drinking a Diet Cherry Vanilla Dr. Pepper, or at karaoke night with Erik (!) but alas, the bed is calling me to find a normal sleep routine.

Good night, good luck, and be blessed friends.

Love, Light & Peace,
Jolee Summerville

Monday, October 11, 2010

30DC - Day 8 - Goals

It is Tuesday, October 12th by the time you're reading this I assume. This means that October is nearly half over already and I've not yet bought one Christmas item. I don't actually even know who to buy for other than my two sisters, Jack, my grams, my nephews, Jackson and perhaps Jaime's family. Hell I can't even spend Halloween with anyone as of right now, because I'll most likely be working.

I'll be dressed up in my best medieval maiden of course, hopefully to pass out candy to some adorable trick or treaters. This means I need to put on a good show, with very little decoration. Ah, if only I had more... oh never mind that. This blog is about goals!

The 8th day in the 30 day challenge allows me to share with you all what goals I have for the rest of this month. This simply means they are short term items, and thank goodness for that. Sometimes I can hardly see past the next hour let alone the next few weeks! Here are just a few of them I can already see popping out of my thought process.

1.) Continue with my healthy journey
2.) Saving more money than I knew possible
3.) Securing a budget plan
4.) Spending more time with people I actually like to be around
5.) Spending less time worrying over things I simply cannot control

Those are just a few mind you, and they change daily. Sometimes I lose sight of my progress because life throws you some loops that you're not terribly prepared for. I'm sure positive though that with the right mind set and the correct dialogue I will make it through the end of October just fine.

And hows about you lovelies? Anyone else have anything exciting or promising on the horizon? Any gorgeous fall weddings to attend? Any babies being born? Any pre-holiday planning going on? Do tell! I look forward to your letters.

As always, be safe, and share the abundance.

Love, Light & Peace,
Jolee Summerville

30DC - Day 7 - Biggest Impact

Day 7 of the 30 day challenge is requiring me to share of a picture of someone or something that has the biggest impact on me.

I can honestly say that yes, I love certain family members like none other, and I love the material items clearly. I posted a whole blog about them. Ha ha. But I have to tell you that there is nothing more moving than a child. In my eyes, a child in need of a stable home, provided with food, clean water and hygiene, is more heartbreaking than a one legged puppy.

(Doesn't the puppy ordeal sound sad too though?)

I'm going to leave this picture the exact size I found it in from Invisible Children's website. If it doesn't disturb you greatly, that thought disturbs me. This child was most likely sold by his father in order to spare all if only some of his female family members from being killed, kidnapped or raped. This same child was probably 6 years old walking miles nightly to find a safe place to hide from the rebels.


Learn more about it. Just Google "Invisible Chlildren" and you'll see more at their wonderful, informative site. I have not yet had the opportunity to work again with this group since 2006, but I plan to greet them diligently in the future.

In another image, I'm inspired by a child embracing the wonderful world and beauty around us. Nature. As pure and innocent as this crazy planet is, the child represents nothing more than obvious delight in the au natural surroundings.


I'm not a mother yet. I plan to be someday when I can actually support my child or children with constant shelter, prosperity and unconditional love and emotional support. I pray you guard your children close, but not too closely for they too need to go out into the world and far away from today raise their own healthy, productive piece of the world.

Until next time, blessed be as always. I pray for the children who are separated from their natural families.

Love, Light & Peace,
Jolee Summerville

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Reserved & Wild

I've been noticing through out the past year that while my moods fluctuate with different changes such as the weather, hormones or simply just the environment, there are other factors that influence my behavior. If I read something or see it in a film perhaps, I can get emotional and cry. If I see something happen directly in front of me, in real time, then I might laugh.

My point though is not about the different influences, it is merely about my reaction to any given situation. I am a Leo according to my Zodiac sign which is appropriately fitting even though I was born 4 months early. I was indeed a prematurely born baby on August 1st. I am proud to inherit the lioness characteristics even though I don't always necessarily want to admit it.

It's a fixed sign and it's the 5th sign in the Zodiac. According to (which is my reliable source for this one piece of writing,) I tend to be 'autocratic' which is such a great word for bossiness. And I am likely to "ruffle others feathers. Basically, I can cause quite a stir with my assertiveness and maybe pugnacious opinions.

That said I am also set in my ways and idealistic, most would not consider these to be admirable traits in a female or anyone I assume. But for some reason in many circumstances I find myself inside lately I feel the urge to be reserved and silent. I want to observe. I want to listen as if to absorb something relative to me and my existence.

I am finding it a hazardous struggle between my Ego and my heart. I cannot seem to find a balance with peace and war. There is a need to mettle and be calm all at once. I cannot seem to make heads or tails of the whole darn thing to be honest.

I'm just venting I guess in case someone reads this and perhaps wishes to share their triumphs in this area. Do you feel that others around you such as family or peers have too much of a demand on how you act? Or do you just go with the flow? Do you switch back and forth?

I look forward to hearing from you. Until then, blessed be.

Love, Light & Peace,
Jolee Summerville

30DC - Day 6 - Hobbies

Day 6 means I have to tell you a hobby I have.

-an activity or interest pursued for pleasure or relaxation and not as a main occupation

Okay, I have two of them which relax me so greatly. First, I love to sew beads onto renaissance style 'garb.' I've not tried sewing them onto anything else but dresses, tunics and satchels. But I'm sure it's still remarkably relaxing no matter what I sew.


Second, I love to scrapbook. This is such a fun thing to do especially socially. I love to sit down my cousins and have a scrapbook party with old family photos. The memories never cease to make us laugh or cry and hug even more. It really is such a blast putting together the pages and borrowing ideas from one another.


I especially think in a local community setting such as with church friends is a fantastic way to get to know more about others and simply have a good time.

I still have only one person onto the Challenge so I hope some of you get into it soon! I really want to hear about the facets of your adventures.

Love, Light & Peace,
Jolee Summerville