Friday, April 24, 2009

Unusual YouTube!

Hey guys! It's a perky Jolee here on a Saturday evening... or early Sunday morning (it's after midnight!) and I've just uploaded new videos of me (yes, it's really me and not a monkey!) onto my YouTube channel JolSummerville. I hope you all enjoy the unedited clips. Better yet to come! Night all, I must retire to more private environs, since I work all day tomorrow carhoppin'! Hooray for making that moolah on a rainy Sunday!

More on my channel!

Love, Light and Peace,

Thursday, April 23, 2009

E Marks The Spot

Education is important to you right now and you can learn a ton, no matter how formal or informal your coursework may be. You might be boning up on French history or making a killer piecrust, but it pleases you deeply. ~

Obviously today is an important day for me since tonight I turn in my final term paper, for Sociology (I chose the topic of aging) and we'll prepare for our final exam next week!!! I cannot believe that finals are already here! I know I'll do well because I've worked hard on this. Even though I am not truly loving it, I still love to feel smart. I like making connections in my brain without even knowing it. I am basking in the warm glow of the sun today as well as studying for our "Murderball" discussion/test tonight. I was about to get a little taste of Charmed but TNT is acting severely strange so I decided to pop open my horoscope. It's been an amazing day of quiet, but I am still struggling to give up my love. Herb has been retracted from my life because well, I think I needed to face some things and do without for financial purposes, so a true cleansing is occurring as I type! I'm going to return home clear-minded and ready to toke it up and live life! Tomorrow is truly an off day for me because I have no work, no school, nothing to do except invite some friends over for scrapbooking and music fest fun! We'll all be singing along to Tim's guitar and Cam's vocals! I've got a few boxes full of memorbilia to stuff into one book for my trip home. I'm condensing everything down, which is both good and sad. But no worries. Tomorrow's also payday! Time to start savin for that ticket!

Love, Light and Peace,

You Must FILTER Your Thoughts!

All that we are is the result of what we have thought. If a man speaks or acts with an evil thought, pain follows him. If a man speaks or acts with a pure thought, happiness follows him, like a shadow that never leaves him. ~ Buddha

Can you let it pass you by? Your key to happiness rests all in the hands of the one and only you! Sometimes we all go through dark periods where there's nothing else we can think about but destruction and despair. Sometimes it's plain necessary to keep you grounded but there comes a point in time when you must succumb to peace once again. You cannot pollute your mind with any negative thoughts. Even the littlest on about someone's terrible driving can result in a major pain for you later. I have recently been so unfocused that I let my life get so out of sorts. I 'cleared the clutter' once more, reflected about my actions and words, and made a decision to be proactive. Just do it, is my new motto. Yes I stole it from Nike! I think I'll give it back and com up with my own. Of course just because I take back what I did, it does not erase the bad deed. I must remember that next time, I shall refrain from whatever bad deed it is at hand whether it be a negative thought or action. I realized that just because you did something to redeem yourself, it's not enough. You have to put extra effort into being seen as good again.

At least I'm not an actual thief, at least not anymore now that Bug isn't around to steal her clothes! (Who still has my Britney Spears fragrance somewhere!) I have thought some mean thoughts but I am pretty quick to shut myself up. I'm quite harsh with myself especially when I affect others. I learn my life lesson but believe me it still continues on in my mind for miles after that! Even so, we must be kind to ourselves and others. The real lesson is about being pure in the first place so you do not have to counteract your mistakes.

The other lesson is to keep your hands away from your face! Ha ha! I think I'm one of the only people I know who has a serious problem with touching their hair and face repeatedly. But I am making a conscious effort to STOP BITING my nails! They're growing out nicely, though I don't ever paint them so they're kind of brittle. I think it's important to keep up appearances and I'm starting to really be more aware of that as well. There is so much to think about in regards to what you put in your body, what comes out, what to do to it, etc. I've been rigorously working on exercising everyday even if it's only ten minutes of strenuous activity. I do go to school still and work which is a pretty damn good workout! There are so many stairs at the school it's crazy, and at work I'm usually running over to the ice cream stand and back to drive-thru!

I'm so thankful for everything I have and I'm about to become way less stringent on my belongings since I can only take so much home with me. I'm glad because this will give me a chance to start over with my own items, my own attachments and associations with them. I think it will make me even more grateful because I'll be paying for it! I think that's going to be the easiest part of my trip to document because I already have a sense of the overwhelming feeling of providing for yourself in life. But it's a most welcome change in my new adventure! That's part of the struggle right?

I can feel the shift in energy and it's incredible. They may not see it now, but the future is going to being so much more to me than we can imagine right now. I'm open to virtually any opportunity at this point. I'm so thrilled to have complete control over my life, my destiny. What an exciting time!

Breathe, relax. It's going to be JUST FINE!

Love, Light and Peace,

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

I'm SO Nervous!

I am frazzled as of late. It's about all this excitement from moving and so many things going on here! There is so much to do before I announce my departure to everyone. I am afraid of their reactions though I'm not sure why. I'm going to do it anyways! I guess I just want everyone to have faith in me that I can make it on my own. My grandmother, of course says, "No you can't!" She's not trying to be rude in a controlling way, it's more of a lack of faith kind of rude. She has no sense of my real self but at least she knows what it's like to be 20 and broke. But she had kids and I do not, so this should not be too much of an issue for me. I dont think my move to LA will be too rough. I cannot believe I am forced to actually sit down every week and talk for 2 hours to the old family members all to reassure everyone. I have to be around in the evenings so I dont appear sullen and withdrawn. It's all a facade I suppose and one I despise living in. The only way to truly get away from them is to be on my own, and literally ON MY OWN. It's a crazy world we live in but a beautiful one too. We've only got ourselves to take care of which is what's most important. I have to take care of things myself. I've only got me to blame for my mistakes, my insecurities. I want to prove to everyone and myself that I am a winner. I guess this is a lifelong journey? I just really want to be happy. I mean, I am happy and thoroughly grateful for all the loving people I have in my life, and everything else but here without my loved ones near, and not doing what I love because of others expectations, I am quite unhappy.

There are brief pure moments here and there of exquisite joy and happiness. I am carefree and ready to ride. Others are pretty cruel and vile and this is when I seem to be restless, moody and insensitive. I need to re-strike a cord with balance. Moving home, (to my 2nd home in California) is the nest thing I need right now. I'm just getting back in touch with the Lord. I hate to admit that because I have been selfish all these years and have fallen. I do stick to my Buddhist beliefs but obviously I am applying them to God's rules. I still will never believe half of the Bible, but hey I guess I'll know for sure when I die? I guess I'm fully Agnostic now and not classified as Buddhist. I am really excited for what's coming because I know the world is mine for the taking. I have so many plans and ideas for the future! It's going to be a crazy month and a half, especially with paying off my first credit card, and a cruise coming in October (!) and SO many other things to pay off, but I'M READY!

Bring it on life, I'm so ready to just go for a ride!

Love, Light and Peace,