Sunday, October 10, 2010

Reserved & Wild

I've been noticing through out the past year that while my moods fluctuate with different changes such as the weather, hormones or simply just the environment, there are other factors that influence my behavior. If I read something or see it in a film perhaps, I can get emotional and cry. If I see something happen directly in front of me, in real time, then I might laugh.

My point though is not about the different influences, it is merely about my reaction to any given situation. I am a Leo according to my Zodiac sign which is appropriately fitting even though I was born 4 months early. I was indeed a prematurely born baby on August 1st. I am proud to inherit the lioness characteristics even though I don't always necessarily want to admit it.

It's a fixed sign and it's the 5th sign in the Zodiac. According to Astrology.com (which is my reliable source for this one piece of writing,) I tend to be 'autocratic' which is such a great word for bossiness. And I am likely to "ruffle others feathers. Basically, I can cause quite a stir with my assertiveness and maybe pugnacious opinions.

That said I am also set in my ways and idealistic, most would not consider these to be admirable traits in a female or anyone I assume. But for some reason in many circumstances I find myself inside lately I feel the urge to be reserved and silent. I want to observe. I want to listen as if to absorb something relative to me and my existence.

I am finding it a hazardous struggle between my Ego and my heart. I cannot seem to find a balance with peace and war. There is a need to mettle and be calm all at once. I cannot seem to make heads or tails of the whole darn thing to be honest.

I'm just venting I guess in case someone reads this and perhaps wishes to share their triumphs in this area. Do you feel that others around you such as family or peers have too much of a demand on how you act? Or do you just go with the flow? Do you switch back and forth?

I look forward to hearing from you. Until then, blessed be.

Love, Light & Peace,
Jolee Summerville

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