Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Legitimately, I'm HERE!

I've been trying to conjure up a legitimate blog for my portal for weeks now. I haven't had much to say lately but now I'm INSPIRED! As with every musical likes in my world they usually pertain to every situation. Country music was a first love, then it was Seal or The Backstreet Boys. There's been so many artists that have influenced me in different areas of my life, whether it be for my personal life or for an artistic purpose.

Art is a funny thing. I cant remember a time when I was younger that I didn't love the feeling I get in my body when I sing. I have dreamt of being in "show business" ever since seeing Star Wars. My grandmother had told me after I had a horrendous nightmare about DV that he was only acting, that "he isn't really mean in real life." I love watching a movie like "A Mighty Heart" or "The Phantom Of The Opera" and seeing the actors truly transforming into another personality and take it to heart most of the time. (I think the correct term for this talent is called the Method.!)

But the whole point is that I still want to pursue entertainment as a career. I'm working on social work and photography degrees in the background as well. I'm getting a lot of flack for some reason. I completely understand I am more comparable to Marilyn's acting than to Judy Garland's but I'm so prepared to work on my craft so to speak. I know a lot of physical work has to be done as well. I'm quite blissfully aware of all the work I'm going to do as an adult. I appreciate the warnings from the elders around me but I still get the very creeping negative tone about it all. They dont trust me enough for me to take care of myself. This is a birth issue. I was born weighing 1 lb. and 6 oz. I was born at 25 weeks which you can probably surmise why. (Oh Jo stop digging at your bm! lmao) Anyways everyone around me now has watched me grow up. Or rather in their minds stay the same irresponsible, gullible, and naive little Donette. So you can see why a name change was imperative! Donette Stuber is a.) a fraud and b.) ugly.

I'm not trying to be down on myself, but that's how everything used to be. When you saw me you'd thought I had been through hell. Now when you see me you can see the hope in me. I'm eager to work and to learn. "To rise up and reach the world." ~ Phantom Of The Opera (2004)

I'm very proud of the person I am today. I am a good kindhearted person who still gets to be a moody, feisty Leo sometimes. I've got flaws obviously but I'm working on them! I'm ready for the changes that are coming. "Fast changes." ~ Seal (1998)

I'm not ashamed of who I am any longer and I walk the streets with my head high and with no worries in general. I can always be freaking out about bills and money but I realize I cannot stress over it usually after a while. My life is not about money. I wish I had more of it that's true. No one ever accused me of not being a business woman. But I mean that my life is about self-growth and family. I create my family. I say whether you are in my circle of lovelies or not. Because of my whole life I have never had a family that is a supportive one. All we do is fuck each other up! We're poison for one another because for some reason we're so used to committing crimes that we can't even stop doing it to one another!

So I've officially pronounced myself as Jolee Summerville, a singer/actress/future social worker/ amateur photographer/future psychologist. :)

Love, Light and Paz.

<3 Jolee~

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